“My 6-month-old always cried at vaccinations. This time, I explained to her what would happen before and then at the clinic, and lo and behold, she just looked at the nurse and did not cry! I was amazed!”
Principle: Involvement of the child all care activities to allow them to become an active participant rather than a passive recipient
I realized the impact of RIE and respectful parenting when I was out with another family for a play day. At the end of the play session, my daughter and my friend’s two children wanted to stay and were protesting leaving the park. I acknowledged my daughter’s feelings that she didn’t want to leave, that we had fun playing, and she could leave when she was ready. We repeated our conversation about 10 minutes later, and after that, she said she was ready to leave and started walking away. My friend and her children had a more emotional discussion, and afterwards, my friend asked me how I “knew” how to speak with my daughter. I was so surprised that she had observed my conversation, and it was the first time that I realized the impact of respectful parenting. She saw that when we had a dialogue, my daughter understood what I was telling her and that we could talk about what was happening without having a big, emotional reaction by both the parent and the child.
Principle: Basic trust in the child to be an initiator, an explorer, and a self-learner
— Christine H.
I learned about RIE when my first daughter was about 15 months old, so when I had my second daughter, I had the chance to use the RIE approach from the beginning. For weeks and months, I had been engaging my baby during diapering and telling her what I was going to do at each step. Then one day, when I asked her if she could lift her bottom so I could put on a new diaper, and I waited a moment as usual, she looked at me and the she did it! It was the first time and I was amazed. Although she couldn’t speak, she understood me! It was such an exciting moment of connection and insight, and a confirmation that this RIE practice really worked! My baby had been paying attention, could respond to my requests, and wanted to connect with me. It was so rewarding and my heart felt so full of love, respect, and connection.
Principle: Involvement of the child in all care activities
— Jennifer
